Archive for July, 2015

My Puzzle Pieces, My Light

People can be part of fleeting moments within our lives. One-night stands, casual acquaintances, classmates, coworkers, mutual friends, or even some family members, any of these people can play a bit-part in our lives. Then come the big guns. This is where the old friends, ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, ex-spouses, close family. the best friends, and the keepers fall into the plot. They are responsible for some of our core characteristics, quirks, habits, interests, and even our overall attitudes have been shaped. They have helped make us the person we are today, for better or worse.
If you are lucky, there comes a moment in your life where you find yourself with a connection with someone that was unexpected, welcome, intense, and gratifying. The world lights up in their presence. It’s indescribable. I have been lucky enough to find that. It was scary how much we had in common, down to having small scars next to our eyes from early childhood. Everything fit, though.
I have found myself at an insanely different point in my life than where I was a year ago, and through every up and seemingly bottomless lows, I have come out on top of it. I am grateful to be a part of some wonderful children’s lives. I get to help in caring for them and watch them grow. I live in a wonderful town and I attend college in an effing castle. I have a partner that cares for me tremendously and that never once allows me to go to sleep feeling unwanted.
If you had told me one year ago that I would be where I am today, I would have told you that you are delirious, and I most likely would have checked you for stroke symptoms.
The people in our lives should add to it, not detract from it. Friendship doesn’t require constant maintenance, or at least it shouldn’t. People are a part of our life because they want to be a part of it, not because they want something from you. I still have a couple of guys that I will always refer to as my best friends/ brothers. We can go months and sometimes years without talking much, but when we see each other, we pick up right where we left off, and neither of us think anything of it.
I dislike losing some people from my life, but it happens. It doesn’t negate the part they played in shaping the woman I am now. I don’t regret anything. Regret is pointless. I have learned from everything in my past, and I am using every part of that to grow, to be better, to never settle, and never give up on making the lives of people around me better. I thrive in an environment where I can nurture. I love to be able to wake up in the morning knowing that it has the potential to be even better than yesterday.
My appreciation for the pieces to the puzzle that are me is immeasurable. Whether they fall into the bit-player roles, or the love and knowledge that they are the core pieces of my heart, I am grateful for every one. The darkest moments can be illuminated, and I thank every person that has added to my light.